The history of world football told in 90 net-bulging episodes The story of football as it’s never been told before, this is a cock-eyed compilation of match reports, correspondence, and reminiscences from pundits, commentators, players, officials, and spectators who weren’t there but should have beena Victorian public school headmaster bemoans the advent of soccer; PC Scorey records the altercations at the White Horse Cup Final in his notebook; the Russian linesman has second thoughts about Geoff Hurst’s goal; God berates the Cardinal Archbishop of Buenos Aires about Maradona’s claims of divine intervention; amd David Beckham’s hairdresser provides David Seaman with coiffeur tips in the aftermath of the England’s World Cup 2002 exit. The nutmegs, tantrums, and penalty-shoot-outs that have provided the ubiquitous topic of male conversation for generations, are entertainingly evoked here.
Dive into the hilarious and unconventional world of football with Justyn Barnes' "Reduced History of Football," a truly unique take on the beautiful game. This isn't your typical dry, stats-laden chronicle; instead, Barnes presents a cock-eyed, laugh-out-loud compilation of match reports, imagined correspondence, and outlandish reminiscences, offering a side-splitting alternative to traditional football histories. Imagine a Victorian headmaster lamenting the rise of soccer, PC Scorey meticulously documenting the chaos of the White Horse Cup Final, or the Russian linesman second-guessing his decision on Geoff Hurst's infamous goal. Barnes masterfully weaves together these fictional scenarios with real-world events, creating a narrative that is both absurd and strangely insightful. This 2nd edition hardcover, published by Prion in 2011, takes you on a journey through 90 "net-bulging" episodes, exploring the nutmegs, tantrums, and penalty shoot-outs that have defined generations of male conversation. You'll witness God himself berating the Cardinal Archbishop of Buenos Aires about Maradona's "Hand of God," and even eavesdrop on David Beckham's hairdresser offering David Seaman some post-World Cup 2002 coiffeur tips. What makes "Reduced History of Football" so compelling is its irreverent humor and sharp wit. Barnes doesn't just retell history; he reimagines it, injecting it with a healthy dose of absurdity. This book is perfect for football fans who appreciate a good laugh and are looking for a refreshing alternative to the usual football fare. It's a clever, comical, and captivating read that offers a fresh perspective on the sport we all love. Beyond the laughs, "Reduced History of Football" subtly touches upon the cultural significance of the sport, exploring its ability to unite and divide, to inspire passion and provoke controversy. It's a book that doesn't take itself too seriously, but it's also a book that understands the profound impact football has on our lives. If you're tired of the same old football stories and are looking for a book that will make you laugh out loud, "Reduced History of Football" is the perfect choice. It's a must-have for any football fan with a sense of humor and a desire to see the beautiful game in a whole new light. Get ready to experience football history as you've never seen it before! This book is not just a history; it's an experience.