A NEW STATESMAN BOOK OF THE YEARIn the vein of the Costa-winning Dadland, with the biographical elements of H is for Hawk, The Fragments of my Father is a powerful and poignant memoir about parents and children, freedom and responsibility, madness and creativity and what it means to be a carer.SHORTLISTED FOR THE BARBELLION PRIZEMy life had been suspended, as though I had inhaled and was still waiting to let out that gasp of breath. I set aside my dreams for a future time when life might be normal again. But that night, on my mothers birthday, as I sat and watched the sky turn from blue to black, I wondered for the first time if it ever would There were holes in Sam Millss life when she was growing up times when her dad was just absent, for reasons she didnt understand. As she grew older, she began to make up stories about the periods when he wasnt around: that hed been abducted, spirited away and held captive by a mysterious tribe who lived at the bottom of the garden. The truth that he suffers from a rare form of paranoid schizophrenia, and was hospitalised intermittently slowly came into focus, and that focus became pin-sharp in 2012, when Sams mother died and Sam was left as his primary carer.In this powerful, poignant memoir Sam triangulates her own experience with the stories of two other carers, one she admires and one, on some days, she fears she might become: Leonard Woolf, husband to Virginia and F Scott Fitzgerald, husband to Zelda, and a man whose personality made him ill-equipped in a great many ways to be a carer for his troubled wife.A mesmerising blend of literary biography and memoir The Fragments of My Father is a compelling and moving account of what it means to be a carer.
Delve into the raw and unflinchingly honest world of family, mental illness, and caregiving with Sam Mills' critically acclaimed memoir, "Fragments of My Father." This powerful book, heralded as a NEW STATESMAN BOOK OF THE YEAR, offers a deeply personal and universally resonant exploration of the complexities of parental relationships, the burdens and rewards of caring for a loved one with mental illness, and the enduring quest for self-discovery amidst challenging circumstances. Mills weaves a compelling narrative, blending her own lived experience with insightful literary analysis. From a childhood marked by her father's unexplained absences and the fantastical stories she created to fill the void, to the stark reality of his paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis and her eventual role as his primary caregiver, she paints a vivid and emotionally charged portrait of a life shaped by mental illness. But "Fragments of My Father" is far more than just a personal account. Mills masterfully interweaves her story with the experiences of two other famous caregivers: Leonard Woolf, husband to the brilliant but mentally unstable Virginia Woolf, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, whose life was intertwined with the struggles of his wife, Zelda. By examining their lives and their approaches to caregiving, Mills provides a broader context for her own experiences, prompting readers to consider the unique challenges and ethical dilemmas faced by those who dedicate their lives to caring for individuals with mental illness. The parallels she draws offer a fascinating perspective, highlighting the sacrifices, frustrations, and occasional moments of profound connection that define the caregiver's journey. Through lyrical prose and unflinching honesty, Mills captures the emotional toll of caregiving the exhaustion, the guilt, the moments of despair, and the unexpected glimmers of hope. She doesn't shy away from the difficult questions, exploring the blurred lines between love and duty, freedom and responsibility, sanity and madness. She questions societal expectations surrounding caregiving, challenging the idealized image of the selfless martyr and acknowledging the anger, resentment, and moments of self-doubt that are often swept under the rug. "Fragments of My Father" is a book that stays with you long after you finish reading. It is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the power of love, and the importance of understanding and compassion in the face of mental illness. It's a must-read for anyone interested in family dynamics, mental health, or the art of memoir. It speaks to the challenges of balancing personal ambitions with the demands of caregiving, a theme increasingly relevant in today's society. This is a book that will provoke thought, spark conversation, and leave you with a deeper appreciation for the complexities of the human condition. Shortlisted for the Barbellion Prize, it's a literary achievement that shouldn't be missed. Fourth Estate published this hardback book in 2019 with 272 pages.