Until Further Notice, I Am Alive

"Until Further Notice, I Am Alive" by Tom Lubbock is a profoundly moving and intellectually stimulating memoir chronicling the author's experience living with a terminal brain tumor. Diagnosed in 2008 with a prognosis of just one to two years, Lubbock, the acclaimed chief art critic for The Independent, uses his remaining time to explore the very nature of life, death, communication, and art. More than just a chronicle of illness, this book is a testament to the human spirit's resilience and its capacity for finding meaning and joy even in the face of mortality. Lubbock divides his narrative into poignant three-month intervals, mirroring the periods between his scans, creating a structure that highlights the precariousness of his existence and the constant negotiation with an uncertain future. Lubbock doesn't shy away from confronting the daunting reality of his diagnosis. He dives deep into philosophical questions about how to live fully when death is an imminent presence. He wrestles with the anxieties and uncertainties that accompany terminal illness, inviting the reader into his most vulnerable moments. However, "Until Further Notice, I Am Alive" is far from a morbid or depressing read. Instead, Lubbock's characteristic wit, sharp intellect, and unwavering curiosity transform the narrative into a celebration of life's enduring power. A particularly compelling aspect of the memoir is Lubbock's exploration of his aphasia, a language impairment caused by the tumor's location in the brain. As his control over spoken and written words diminishes, he embarks on a fascinating journey into the origins of language and communication. He grapples with the frustration of losing his ability to articulate his thoughts while simultaneously discovering new, more profound ways of connecting with the world and those around him. He examines how communication transcends simple speech and the power of non-verbal expression, and art, to convey meaning. This struggle, poignantly rendered, offers profound insights into the very essence of what it means to be human. Beyond his personal struggles, Lubbock also reflects on his relationships with loved ones, particularly his wife and young son. He shares intimate moments of joy, love, and connection, emphasizing the importance of cherishing these bonds in the face of impending loss. His dedication to remaining present and engaged in their lives is both inspiring and heartbreaking. Tom Lubbock was known for his insightful and unconventional art criticism. His writing was always clear, concise, and thought-provoking, and he brought a unique perspective to the world of art. These qualities are evident in "Until Further Notice, I Am Alive." His prose is both elegant and accessible, drawing the reader into his world and allowing them to experience his journey alongside him. Even as his language skills deteriorated, Lubbock found innovative ways to express himself, often using drawings and visual aids to communicate his thoughts and feelings. This resourcefulness speaks volumes about his determination to remain connected to the world around him. Published by Granta Books, this hardcover edition of "Until Further Notice, I Am Alive" is a lasting tribute to a brilliant mind and a courageous spirit. At 160 pages, it offers a concentrated and powerful reading experience. It's a must-read for anyone grappling with questions of mortality, communication, and the meaning of life, or for those seeking an inspiring story of resilience, love, and the enduring power of the human spirit.